You CAN Do Hard Things

I tell my daughter and her friends, “don’t be afraid to do hard things,” all of the time. I tell my friends that and I tell some of my co-workers the same thing. Most of the time I am met with some resistance and some insistence that they certainly aren’t afraid to do hard things, they choose not to do hard things. Cue the eye-roll and arched eyebrow from me.

In reality, living this life means that we are most likely presented with multiple opportunities to choose to either do hard things or not. Choosing to not have that second slice of cake can be hard for anyone who is trying to be more healthy. Choosing to keep your mouth closed during an argument you can’t win feels darn near impossible for individuals who always like to have the last word. Choosing integrity, choosing kindness, choosing to sacrifice…these can all be hard things when we battle our human instinct to save face and self-protect.

Let’s go a little deeper than forgoing dessert and learning how to bite our tongue. Finding courage, especially for those who’s job requires a great deal of courage, can mean making a decision about something that would be much easier for the average person to make.

A few years ago, a first responder that was in distress called my organization’s hotline to ask for help. Most of the work that we do within the organization has to do with caring for families and agencies of first responders that die in the line of duty. Over the last few years, as we have seen an increase in first responder suicides, we started putting together resources and information for those firefighters, law enforcement officers, and EMS professionals who battle mental health issues. This first responder that called our number was in terrible shape. They were battling depression, anxiety, and a host of financial issues that were causing a great deal of difficulty with their family. They had reached the end of the rope and they were about to let go.

As I listened to this person’s story, I could hear the apprehension in their voice. Many first responders have trust issues, and to open up about the personal demons they are battling can be an incredibly vulnerable moment for them. It’s not easy at all for the ‘hero’ to take their cape off and admit that they are fallible. When this individual finished their story, I acknowledged the incredible amount of courage this person had summoned in order to take the first step in finding help. It truly does take a huge step of faith and a large dose of courage to admit a weak spot in their armor. The simple act of recognizing their courage disarmed their fear and allowed them to take the next step in their healing journey. Sometimes, doing hard things means asking for help. It could mean having a difficult but much-needed conversation or saying no when your first instinct is to say yes. Maybe taking some time to rest is hard for you, but it’s vital to prevent your body from shutting down from fatigue and stress. Or maybe the hard choice is ending a relationship, a friendship, or an opportunity that has become toxic.

Hard things doesn’t always equivalate to stopping a bad habit. Doing hard things can actually mean looking your deepest fear, or the issue that causes you the most shame in the eye and taking a step forward in addressing it head on.

With the right support system in place, vetted resources at hand, lots of encouragement, and an empathetic ear that will listen without judgement, it is possible for you to do that hard thing that you have been struggling with. I promise. I know first hand from personal experience with this.

If I can help you in any way, please don’t hesitate to send me an email in the contact link listed above. Check out the resource section for helpful links and downloadable that might be helpful for you. And, feel free to sign up for the Sacred Spaces Journal to receive a monthly dose of encouragement, a list of new resources, and freebie items that are just for my subscribers. You can sign up below.

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