John made the transition into the chief's role at FBFD amid significant difficulties, tension, and personnel issues. To say that it was a rough season within the department was an understatement. There was quite a mess to clean up, and once some of those issues were sorted out, his mission became figuring out how to start from a clean slate

The second anniversary of John's death falls on Thanksgiving this year. It feels unreal that another year has already passed and that 730 days have gone by since I heard his voice or saw his face. The last time I heard his voice was over the radio as he cleared the scene of the fire. How can that be possible?

Loss lands in our lives like an uninvited guest, unexpected and unsettling. When we lose someone we love, when the world we know shifts under our feet, when jobs change, or retirement lingers it’s easy to feel adrift. Experiencing loss and navigating the grief that comes from that loss can be disconcerting. That was how I felt in the weeks and months following my husband’s death.  The familiarity of my life now seemed like a terrible dream that I only read about in a novel.

At the time I first launched this website, I never could have imagined that in a few short years, I would be navigating the devastating loss of my husband, John.  I had started this website with the intention of offering support services, resources, and information that would help to first responders that were navigating through the dark shadows of loss and trauma. 

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